You say that I chose this.
Why would I choose this?
To choose to hide my love.
To choose feeling shame from family.
To choose a moral war within myself.
To choose never to hold my child in my arms.
To choose a wedding my family will not attend.
To choose a life I would not wish on my worst enemy.
But I accept it.
Continue reading “Acceptance”
Definitions for non-Muslim audiences:
Shahada – the declaration of faith in the Islamic tradition, “I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His Messenger.” This is one of the five pillars of Islam. We recite this statement often but hope that it rolls off our tongues in our time of death so we may die with this declaration of faith.
Ummah – the global Muslim community, bound together by religion. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, described the Ummah in this way: “The parable of the believers in their affection, mercy, and compassion for each other is that of a body. When any limb aches, the whole body reacts with sleeplessness and fever.” (Source: Sahih Al Bukhari 6011, Sahih Muslim 2586)
Author’s Note:
Saniya Ruqiah Ahmed began her poetry journey as a spoken word and slam poet in the realm of social justice advocacy. For nearly a decade, her art has been kept within the ears of her audience, and she is now aiming to bring her work to paper. Her poetry centers on themes like family, faith, social justice, and Muslim and Indian diaspora. Now as a medical student, her poetry has shifted to also encompass humanity and dignity in health and healthcare.
The girl in my bag
You are so ugly. Try to hide your face. If you peek out of that bag, everyone will know.
You’re different
Keep a secret. Safe inside this skin. Don’t let anyone know that ugly girl within. Smile as you belong, full of confidence, but hide that ugly girl, the one behind the fence.
The ugly girl you are, that fought your way to be
Pretend it was all handed to you, like the many you see.
Oh ugly girl inside, don’t share the suffering felt
Don’t share the pains of never loved, don’t share the tears you wept
Ugly girl just stay,
Inside the dark brown bag
That way no one will know that inside, you are just sad
I lay beside you
and dream of
our becoming
at the close.
Will our skin slip off
into a heap
of tangled velvet ribbons
on this plush earth,
where sleepy worms burrow?
Every night I stood still and stared into the mirror,
until my reflection seemed to move on its own.
This body of mine,
does not feel like home to me.
There was a woman who slept here,
tucked into silken membranes
as she sighed into the stale, unbroken air
of my peritoneum.
There’s a moment in the morning,
where the nocturnal sky begins to meet the new day,
a reunion of the dark night and the burning crimson sky.
yet even before the celebration of the sun rising,
blue hues beginning to fill the streets,
a subtle and gentle awakening
For months, I’ve tried getting rid of the
demons that manipulate the marionettes in my
head, only to see those demons gave me
something to feel.
Something to get angry about.
Something to fight against.
Beyond this door lies a forest
deep in the quiet riot of autumn.
The silence disrupted by the crunching of leaves
underfoot a team of interlopers, of which I trail behind.
In a clearing beyond the shadows of the thicket,
we approach two trees towering as one.
Two trunks bowed like backs to wrap their branches in an embrace.
I blink
In their place, Two women appear.
Continue reading “Twin Violets”
as the sun glints
off beads of brine
braided in my hair
I watch from my boundless home,
a prison at times like this,
as my love leans
past the shore Continue reading “la mer”
Med Intima 